What light bulbs go off when saying a genius' name

I asked some Iowa Citians buying beauty products this week to say the first thing that came to mind when hearing the words "Albert Einstein." The most common answers:
•Genius
•E=mc2
•Science
•Crazy hair
•Light bulb

All lovers of science are cringing right now. Why? Without question, Albert Einstein is the most influential scientist from the 20th century. His theories of relativity entirely upset the old paradigm, established by Isaac Newton, for understanding the universe. Einstein's theories led to X-rays, microwave ovens and lasers. A letter he wrote to President Roosevelt spurred America to invent the atom bomb, which in turn established us as the ubersuperpower after World War II. To sustain our status, we set foot on the moon as humanity entered the age of space exploration, which has allowed us to better grasp the universe's deepest mysteries.

And yet, very few people understand Einstein's theories or how their ramifications ripple into virtually every aspect of our lives.

Why bring this up on such a pleasant spring morning? Because today in 1879, Einstein was born in Uln, Germany.

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During 1905, Einstein published four papers that changed the world. Among them was the "Special Theory of Relativity," which brought a fresh view of space and time to science.

Essentially, Einstein described the behavior of motion for objects when they travel close to or at the speed of light, which is roughly 186,000 miles per second. This is all very difficult for most of us to understand simply because we don't travel that fast. Still, his descriptions hold true for us when we're driving only 75 mph down Interstate 80.

Among those concepts was naming time as the "fourth dimension." Or as Einstein explained, "An attempt at visualizing the Fourth Dimension: Take a point, stretch it into a line, curl it into a circle, twist it into a sphere, and punch through the sphere."

His fourth paper linked energy (E), mass (m) and the speed of light (c), to show that a small amount of matter can be converted into a large amount of energy. This gave birth to the famous formula E=mc(squared). Several years later, he extended his theory to gravity and acceleration.

Einstein certainly was a genius. But he didn't entirely explain how the universe works. If anything, he created all kinds of mind-boggling paradoxes.

For example, how could one twin be several years older than the other? Simply send one sibling on a really fast spaceship and leave the other on Earth. Because time slows as one approaches the speed of light, according to Einstein, when the rocket returns in say 50 years, the twin aboard it will not have aged as much as the twin who stayed on Earth.

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Einstein has three major scientific connections to Iowa, so far as I could discover.

First, many health care professionals at the University of Iowa have attended or worked at the Albert Einstein College of Medicine (and vice versa). The college is the Bronx, which boasts concrete rather than dirt and cornfields.

Secondly, Hans Albert Einstein - Albert Einstein's son - is a prominent figure in the mechanics of sediment movement and water flow in alluvial rivers; the Iowa Institute of Hydraulic Research, located on the University of Iowa campus, published a book by Hans' second wife about their life and what it meant to live in the shadow of a father who everyone thought was the smartest man to ever live.

Third, Captain James T. Kirk, who will be born later next week 224 years from now in Riverside, commands a starship that travels faster than light, which violates Einstein's Theory of Relativity. Even as the Enterprise accelerates toward the speed of light, the G-force alone should smush Kirk and crew into the bulkheads like tomatoes.

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A lot of Iowans (many of whom were Germans) had crazy hair in 1879. Among the popular styles for wo-men was long braided hair that fell to the thighs. Split curl bangs were a must. Flowers adorned the cut.

Einstein's hair tends to frizz out, as if he'd stuck his finger into a light socket a few minutes ago and gravity was pulling it back down.

Or maybe he just didn't comb it. After all, Einstein remained keen on breaking what he described as "the chains of the merely personal" so that "wishes, hopes, and primitive feelings" wouldn't restrain his intellectual thinking. Simply put, he did not waste time pondering the relative merits of shampoos and conditioners.

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Einstein, alas, had nothing to with the light bulb. That was Thomas Edison.

Which brings us full circle.

(originally published March 14, 2004)